. FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA ... FLOOR.2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE SELF- HELP SECTION? SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO “GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?”11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED. All that plus morein....Instant Woman! (Part Two)"Have you seen him?" my wife asks as I listen to her voice."No can't say that I have" it was her second oldest sister and she wasthe one whose dress I took and now wearing."Thought I saw him come up here," said the other whose shoes I am nowwearing."Maybe he came back downstairs?" said my wife.The three of them were talking and they checked my wife's room and thenthe bathroom. That was when I realized I left my male clothes in her onesister's room. "Crap" I muttered hoping they wouldn't find my clothes."Nope not in the bedroom or in the bathroom," I heard my wife say."Maybe he did come back down," my shoe sister said.With that their voices began to fade and I was still standing there bythe door waiting for silence. I had let out a sigh of relief when Iheard nothing. I had my back against the wall and I just stood there andbreathed in and out. I also noticed how my chest rose and fell with eachbreathe. I opened the door and made my way.
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